August 2010
44 posts
I bought fake gum cigarettes today and I feel incredibly cool. I really wanted someone at whole foods to yell at me for smoking though… :(
July 2010
53 posts
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There would only be one reason for me to watch American Idol…If Courtney Love replaced Simon.
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Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I know shit about cooking because I watch too much Top Chef and Food Network.
Like when the contestants start explaining their dishes and they say “Oh I just whipped up a Five Spiced Curried tabouli with braised steak tenderloins and pickled cilantro risotto with a smoked bacon foam.”
And I’m just like oh shit I know what ALL OF...
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I bet Zac Efron named his penis Troy Bolton.
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Food Network
I’m pretty sure I can be the Paris Hilton of the Food Network.
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Serious musings
Gonna screw my way into being a professional eater for Food network.
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It’s cool that more and more commercials are confusing me right? right.
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fergaliciousdef-deactivated2010 asked: YO. WHAT'S UP?
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Today my mom told me what a blowjob was…the drink.
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Whenever I order food for delivery I always manage to say “I’d like to put out for delivery.” The poor Chinese man sounded concerned.
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Weird
Is it weird that I teared up a little while I imagined meeting Beyonce. Like it would be that epic.
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Wikipedia
I always find myself going on Wikipedia while watching a movie and before I know it, I’ve read all about the movie and then I have no desire to watch it…BOO ME.
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I hate that I was like...
I totes don’t burn guys I’m black, FUCK SUNSCREEN, I can handle a little 98 degree sun. Now my shoulders are burnt and I can’t complain to my friends because they’ll be like well…told ya bitch.
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Why is my life so complicated?
I’m having such a hard time choosing socks to buy. No really, why is my life so complicated?
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I love having a summer birthday
because all I do all day is look at clothes I can’t afford because I don’t have a job and now I can convince people to buy them for me.
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I'm really feeling
Janelle Monae, like really, I want to feel her. She is sooo cute and I’m officially obsessed with her music.
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Films not movies
Me: Omg mom Lindsay Lohan is going to jail
Mom: Well thats good, I read somewhere that she did drugs.
Me: Yeah she did, but thats not the point, the point is that SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE FILMS
Her: Oh...
Me: How is going to twitter? I'm freaking out.
Her: Ok...So do you have any dirty laundry or not?
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It looks really beautiful outside
But it’s the type of beauty you appreciate from afar or in my case inside with the a/c. How hot it is outside just enforces my hermit-ness.
The most exciting thing I did today was marvel at how good I shaved my face. Soooooo smooth.
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Haven't left the house in several days
…but really I transform into some kind of hermit over the summer. During school is when I’m out and about and getting trashed and asking straight boys to make out.
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tuffghostevan:
Before He Cheats | Carrie...
What if Kanye had died in that car accident?
sade:
On one hand, we’d never have the gift of Jesus Walks.
On the other, we wouldn’t have 2010’s Kanye West.
Kinda confusing.
WHAT ABOUT AMBER ROSE??? Her bald head and big ass are relevant to my interests.
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Celebrity Erotica #1: Angelina "Angie" Jolie and...
Brad inserted into Angie hoping to “make love” this time instead of what Angie made them do every time they had sex. She was like a priest at the Vatican when it came to how kinky she was. Brad attempted to change the direction that their sex was going by calling her “Mrs. Pitt;” instead she said She yelled, “SPANK ME WITH THAT DILDO!!!” Brad resigned to their...
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