September 2010
32 posts
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Some guy just walked past me with his finger in his mouth and I found myself very afraid he was going to give me a wet willy.
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“HEYYYYYY PROFESSOR OGLEVEE”
– Nikki Parker
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Pandas
I’ve always had this intense love of pandas and going into college I wanted to be a zoologist and it was totes my dream. Then I failed Biology and my dreams were crushed and I want to write?
I just really want to blackmail a billionaire into giving me enough money to buy a panda and live comfortably.
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We have to read Practical Magic for one of my classes and guuuurlll I’ve seen the movie a dozen times. Love Nicole and Sandra. When I was younger it was one of my favorite movies along with To Wong Foo.
I’m on acid (for the first time) at a water park kinda place.
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So yesterday on the bus this boy I had the biggest crush on last year sat next to me. We didn’t talk, but when he reached his arm past my face to get off the bus, I got a whiff of him. He smelled like beautiful.
I got to thinking about the boys I get crushes on and apparently freshman and sophomore years I had a thing for Christian boys. Three in particular really stand out for me...
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I don't have my license....
I’m 20 so thats not that bad right. I mean my little brother got his at 17, and I was like well fuck,Rachel Ray didn’t get her license until she was 25. So if I follow my own logic I’ll get my license at 25 and be rich and famous…and slightly annoying.
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I’m about to ask the big girl next to me if she wants to cuddle. It’s really cold on the bus.
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Whenever I see these crazy TMI question posts, I get weirded out. You are fun to follow and all but shit I don’t want to read all about how you fingered yourself in the middle school bathroom last year.
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meters-per-year asked: what is the last thing you made?
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http://www.allegromedical.com/sexual-health-c524/cl... →
Fuck.
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I have this great idea...
for an erotic candles business. Like make your own erotic candles out of body parts and stuff. It took me a full day to realize that this is an untapped market.
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I just now remembered that my roommate walked into my room at like 9 and had a butterfly in her hand and she asked me why I was afraid…
You know what fuck it because I’m gonna totally make out with this straight boy and heavily imply that he can stay in my bed because all of my roommates have boyfriends and are heavy on the “love making” and my ass sits here and reads peoples blogs so I’m gonna make out with everybody and show my penis to ALL the people.
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Gurl I think I've lost 5 pounds...
Just from dancing!
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Tomorrow my two best friends/roommates are having a 21st and it’s going to be the debut of my new hair. I shaved the sides of my afro (I’m still trying to grow it out for a Janelle monae pompadour) and dyed it burgundy, because I like the attention.
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I'm pretty well known for my soft hands...
so I think I should stop doing the dishes and all manual labor and holding pencils because I have a reputation to keep.
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Oh heeeeey
Is there always a point in someones life when their roommate and her boyfriend tell you they are going to cook naked and semi-invite you…?
So I’m watching this movie on lifetime about some Amish kids who start going to “real” school. Though I’m not paying attention to this movie at all (Two Weeks Notice is on) I’m pretty sure the Amish kids are going to get slut makeovers and become the popular kids at school.
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Jäger
Jäger. Jäger. Jäger.
